everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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