Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize