And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
