so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
