Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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