He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Come share oat with me in your robe
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
