Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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