She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
