Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
