To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
