Someone shit on the floor
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
