laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wish i was in the wii world.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
