I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
