Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
