we have officially lost it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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