i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
