I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
it glows. i had to have it.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
