you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You dont lie about slip and slides
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
is it fun? or sober?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
