Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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