She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
