He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
