We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
