when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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