Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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