My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
