I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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