Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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