wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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