Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
