your room smells of hookers.
And success
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
