Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
where am i from again
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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