Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
