Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
