i just google imaged poop.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
