Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize