If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
