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Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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