hotel room ftw
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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