the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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