So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I believe in your delicious
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize