Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize