Having a random hookup so left but love u
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
