it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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