Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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