I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
