I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
