it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
