third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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