wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
