with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
