Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
