I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
