I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
