Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
