Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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