There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
