i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
